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Pleasure your woman with big-ticket appliances! By Pope Benedict XVIOkay, I admit it. It was me who ghost-wrote the article in L'Osservatore Romano that said it was the washing machine, not "The Pill", that really liberated women. Sort of Holy Ghost-wrote it, if you know what I mean.Lotsa people, they say "Hey Pope--whadda you know about women, huh... |
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4 ways to be safe this Ides of March By Howie MandelCan I get a shout out from all the sports fans across America? This is the one weekend of the year that was created for them. Yes, that's right. March Madness: the popular sport of avoiding tragic downfall on the Ides of March.Here are 4 easy steps to avoid demise this March 15th.1) Avoid your be... |
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Why I Hate America By Osama bin LadenIt was my Birthday, yesterday -- not that you noticed. No cards, no letters, nobody even hit up my secret facebook page! I don't have a single comment on my wall! What the fuck, people?Maybe you should think sometimes, okay? I'm fifty two years old. I don't need a lot for ... |
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Fight Club 2 By Angelina JolieBrad and I have been researching homes for the mentally disabled that might be a good fit for our daughter Shiloh, as we suspect that she’s retarded. (She refuses to call Cheetos by their proper name but says ‘Cheetoths’ instead, and indeed insists on pronouncing all ‘s&rs... |
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It's a recession--we're all cutting back By Alex RodriguezYou know, with the richest contract in baseball history, some people think I've got it made. Let me tell you, $27.5 million a year doesn't go as far as it used to.I've cut back on a lot of things. Tipping clubhouse boys at out-of-town ballparks is one area where I think I can save money this seas... |
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Our Magnum Opus has been misunderstood By Jonas BrothersSometimes, and admittedly it's rare, but sometimes an artistic work is created (or rather is birthed) that is so unique, such the antithesis of the derivative works being produced that it challenges us. It frightens, shocks and takes us out of our comfort zone. Because of this, a common human rea... |
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