Keegy United States - The Onion: In Focus: Overweight College Student Announces Plans To Wear Shorts, Sandals For Rest Of Year

In Focus: Overweight College Student Announces Plans To Wear Shorts, Sandals For Rest Of Year

STATE COLLEGE, PA—Kyle Norton stated that he would also forgo a winter coat and continue to don the same coffee-stained sweatshirt he has been wearing since mid-October. ...

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The Onion — 14 hours ago

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Senator Byrd The Longest-Serving Lawmaker

After more than 56 years in office, 92-year-old Sen. Robert C. Byrd (D-WV) has become the longest-serving member of Congress. What do you... ...

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The Onion — 15 hours ago

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Sports: LeBron James Encourages NBA To Stop Jumping In Honor Of Michael Jordan

WASHINGTON—Prior to Wednesday's game against the Washington Wizards, Cleveland Cavaliers all-star LeBron James announced that he would stop jumping during professional basketball games in order to properly honor recent Hall of Fame inductee Michael Jordan. ...

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The Onion — 15 hours ago

2 Votes vote

Montessori School Of Dentistry Lets Students Discover Their Own Root Canal Procedures

NEW YORK—"At Montessori, we believe dentistry to be more than just the medical practice of treating tooth and gum disorders," said school director Dr. Howard Bundt. "It's about fostering creativity." ...

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The Onion — 17 hours ago

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[audio] Survey: Positive Things Better Than Negative Things

Onion Radio News - with Doyle Redland ...

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The Onion — Yesterday

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Sports: Eagles Settle For Field Goal After 260-Yard Drive

SAN DIEGO—The Eagles were forced to settle for a field goal against the Chargers Sunday after sustaining a 260-yard, 64-play drive that featured six separate red-zone appearances and took 52 minutes off the game clock. ...

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The Onion — Before yesterday