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05 Dec

Texans Want To Secede From Union, Name George W. Bush Their Texas President

Mysterious Wonkette Texas operative “The Doctor” (RP?) has forwarded us a delightful e-mail (s)he received this morning, probably from a great aunt or uncle, that thoroughly explains how Texas has the resources it needs to secede from the Union, which it should do immediately, “...

Bury Wonkette November 26

John McCain Addresses The Press From Random Conference Room

The news has decided to stop today, because Thanksgiving is tomorrow. So uh here is a video clip from when was it, the other day, when John McCain gave his first press conference since the Presidential election. Once again we must remark on how much more relaxed and normal-seeming he is now that...

Bury Wonkette November 26

The Secret Mating Rituals Of Japanese Polar Bears

Barack Obama has just been holding press conferences all over the place, and he will hold another one today, to introduce yet another cabal of eggheads who will advise him on economic matters. [AP] Heading Obama’s economic recovery board will be Paul Volcker, the world’s largest livi...

Bury Wonkette November 26

Who Is The Real President Of America Right Now?

Your country, the United States, comes closer and closer to the brink of complete economic and militaristic (but mostly economic these days!) ruination with every passing second. Oh, don’t blame yourself, dear reader. Blame the government — yeah, you know the one! Because, due to a co...

Bury Wonkette November 25

Laura Bush Will Save The Publishing Industry Forever

America has the most guns per capita of anywhere, ever, including Yemen! Yemen. A full 89 out of 100 people own firearms. [Andrew Sullivan] Obama is going to revamp FEMA by hiring some Clinton staffer who already fixed the thing eight years ago and left just before Michael Brown destroyed both ...

0 Comments Bury Wonkette November 25

AIG Using Taxpayers’ $150 Billion To Annoy Comedy Blog

The government rescued insurance giant AIG from its own wretched, greedy incompetence by giving the evil company $80 billion $150 billion of your tax dollars. With this insane reward for being an epic failure, AIG was supposed to rebuild its core business — which is insurance, not gambling ...

Bury Wonkette November 25

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