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Quickies: Diamond in the Rough

Check out Jessica Simpson’s new tattoo! (Hollywood Rag) Marisa Miller in a $3 million dollar bra. (Moe Jackson) Taylor Swift is dating Taylor Lautner! (Socialite Life) Courtney Love and Jocelyn Wildstein could be twins. Evil undead twins. (Holy Moly!) Attention Twi-hards (ugh): Rober...

Lindsay Lohan’s Dad Goes on Maury Povich

Lindsay Lohan’s dad Michael did what any good father fearing for his daughter’s well-being would do yesterday — he went on the Maury Povich show to talk about what a used-up dead-inside whore she is. If only more dads would follow in his footsteps! TMZ says First Mike called ...

No Charges Filed in Joe Francis/Jayde Nicole Assault Case

The D.A. will not be filing charges against Joe Francis for his attack on Playboy Playmate Jayde Nicole in an L.A. nightclub last August. I repeat, will NOT be filing charges. I’m guessing that like me, the D.A. spends most of his free time huffing glue and paint thinner. TMZ says The D....

S.S. Miranda Kerr Victoria’s Secret Photo Shoot

Scientology Exposed as a Sham, Fined $900,000

ABC ran a two-part investigation into Scientology last week that explored the allegedly violent tendencies of leader David Miscavige (as well as delving into the whole “aliens and volcanoes” crap on which their religion is based) in an interview with Scientology spokesperson Tommy Da...

Quickies: Boss Hogg

Jude Law and Sienna Miller reunited! (E! Online) Rosie O’Donnell was this close to doing it with Angelina Jolie. (PopEater) Jennifer Esposito gets engaged to Philip Poussis. That last name is awfully close to “pussy.” (Wonderwall) Chris Brown “I Can Transform Ya&rdquo...